Jeremy's Top Ten Reasons To Have Another Drink

10. A new fashion trend, Dick Cheney-skin boots.
9. Avocados are on sale 4 for $1.00.
8. Just got rid of the clap.
7. Angelina Jolie's dreams of collecting one child from each country foiled when South Africa tells her to bugger off.
6. Soda's all gone.
5. Your father never loved you.
4. Russell Crowe and Naomi Campbell have first annual telephone throw down. Both die from fatal dialing injuries.
3. You have the brew shakes.
2. God finally reveals himself to be real just so he can disassociate himself from George W Bush.
1. Two words: Breakdancing Jake